How do you know if you've been verbally abused?

I've thought for a few years that my mother has been verbally abusive although I've never been quite sure where people draw the line. I tried talking to my counselor last year but that didn't get any where. We get into fights a lot. Not physical but verbal, I never used to say anything back but now I can't help but retaliate. She says a lot of things about how I dont care about her, how I'm ruining everybody elses life, and things like that. She always seems to snap at me and no matter what I do nothing seems to fit her standards. I'm not really sure what to do, where to go or if this even would be considered verbal abuse. If anybody could help I'd really appreciate you.